Kids These Days.

DISCLAIMER: my computer is not formatting my links properly, so I've just included the web pages in the sentences where they are supposed to be links and also at the bottom of this blog. Sorry for the inconvenience, I'm trying to work this out.

What is happening to kids these days? Why are they growing up so quickly? Has the world really changed that drastically over the last decade? Is the media getting more sexual because we are demanding it, or are we getting more sexual because the media depicts life more graphically? Everyday I turn on the TV or look up at billboards or flip through a magazine and I’m inundated with images sex and alcohol. Long gone are the days when Lucy and Ricky slept in separate beds. Even Married with Children looks tame now compared with some of the programs on television. Cartoons are glorifying drug use and alcohol consumption. I was flipping through a magazine yesterday and one of the advertisements was portraying two women “making love.” And no, this wasn’t a Playboy; it was Vogue. I hear stories from teens all the time of their sexual escapades and how wasted they were last night, showing it off like a badge of honor. I’m not trying to sound like an out of the loop mother here, but kids are maturing way too fast. They are wearing designers by the age of eleven and they are watching reality TV with the idea that it is actually reality. The pressure for kids to become mature faster and the overt sexuality and graphic nature of some elements depicted in television today are largely responsible for teenagers participating in illegal activities and becoming sexually active very early in life.

I have a sixteen year-old sister and it’s amazing that even in our four-year difference our perspectives on the media, sex and the world are completely different. When I was going through puberty I watched Boy Meets World and Sabrina the Teenage Witch. My sister watches the O.C. and the Real World. The most exciting thing that happened in Sabrina was when she moved off to college and started meeting older guys in coffee shops. I can’t recall one episode where sex was even mentioned. The O.C. dealt with drugs, sex and Tijuana all in the first half of season one. Don’t get me wrong, I watched the O.C too, but I wasn’t twelve when it first came on and I definitely wasn’t impressionable enough to think that is what high school kids would be like. I specifically recall one afternoon during my junior year of high school when my sister approached me and asked me “why does everyone think Marissa (the main character from the O.C. for those of you who have been living under a rock for the last five years) is a prude for not having sex? Isn’t she only a sophomore in high school? I don’t want people to call me prude.” I can’t even tell you how taken aback I was. She was being completely earnest. My sister was twelve at the time and it was then that I realized that raising her was going to be a lot different than raising me. I spent about an hour convincing her that it was just TV and they were trying to make life more dramatic for ratings and that being a virgin your sophomore year of high school, when most kids don’t even have their drivers license does not make anyone a prude. She felt much better after our talk but I just felt like crying. Was she going to turn in to one of those kids that would go on to say, “everyone on TV was doing it, I thought I was supposed to. I thought it was normal.”

It’s four years later and my little sister is all grown up. You can’t tell her anything. That earnest young girl is a walking, talking, opinionated sixteen year-old adult; at least in her mind. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my sister, and for the most part she makes the right decisions, but she is at such a different place than I was at her age. I just want to grab her by the arms sometimes and shake her and yell “GROW DOWN.” The scariest part is that I just don’t know how to relate to her sometimes. I don’t know what to say to make her listen instead of just thinking of me as her out of touch older sister.

So what has changed? What makes her generation so different from my own? The media. The way we depict life on television. It is no longer fun to watch shows about normal human interactions. Everything has to be hyped up or glamorous. People don’t want to watch a show about a young witch living with her two aunts and a talking cat, who’s biggest problem is how to get the guy to buy her a slice of pizza on a date. They want to watch people doing coke at a beach house after party where earlier in the night their fathers got in a fight and their boyfriend burned down a house.

Teens are changing. Their social norms are evolving and I’m a little scared. The United States spends at least seven billion dollars a year dealing with the issue of teen pregnancy (http://www.familyfirstaid.org/teen-pregnancy.html). Thirty-four percent of girls will have become pregnant at least once by the age of twenty (Aid). THIRTY-FOUR PERCENT. That means that when you sit down with a group of four twenty year-olds, statistically one of them has been pregnant. That is a daunting statistic and it’s actually the lower of the two that I read on the subject. Another site proclaimed that the number was closer to forty percent (Sound Vision). Luckily, since 1991 the rate of teen pregnancy in America has declined by thirty percent, however it is still the highest in all industrialized nations, including being twice as high as England. Lets take a look at that thirty percent decrease however and realize that there is a major asterisk that goes along with it. When people hear that the teen pregnancy rate is dropping they assume that that correlates to the teen sex rate dropping. This is just not true. Because of better sex education in schools and the focus of condoms in the media as seen in commercials like this (http://youtube.com/watch?v=U6krr40mdHM) one put out by Trojan condoms recently, teens are being smarter about contraception. They are still having sex, and if anything they are starting earlier but with more information at their fingertips.

Another (http://www.soundvision.com/Info/teens/stat.asp) reason for the decrease in teen pregnancy can be attributed to the huge increase in fellatio over the last seventeen years. While reading the article “A Cock and Bull Story: Explaining the Huge Rise in Oral Sex” (http://www.slate.com/id/2148583/) by Tim Harford I discovered some staggering statistics. Over seventy five percent of teenagers are receiving oral sex (Harford). Take a moment to shake that off, I know it’s not the prettiest picture to have. Apparently, at least to kids, oral sex “doesn’t count.” Now I’m not going to debate this point, because frankly you have your own opinion on the distinction between sex and oral and I’m don’t feel like changing it. I do have to say though, that when I have kids I’m not going to hand out any medals to my son or daughter from “just doing oral.” Harford goes on to illustrate how the economic burden of engaging in sex is the reason for the increase in oral. He postulates that because of abortion prices, and the fact that your parents have to consent to abortions, teens find the prospect of getting pregnant too risky for them. Notice that he says that these kids are worried more about what mommy and daddy will think of them instead of the larger issue of pregnancy and STDs.

Here’s a quick tip for your life, if you’re worried about what your parents are going to think about you participating in a certain act (sexual or otherwise) you’re not mature enough to be doing it. End of story. You have to be able to take responsibility for your own actions and you should never be doing something that you would be afraid to tell your parents about. Of course I may be biased because I have a healthy relationship with my parents.

I came across an article (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/07/21/AR2007072101275.html) in the Washington Post recently that discussed the plateau-ing of teenage sex rates. The article went on to say that perhaps we have reached the limits of what will deter kids from engaging in sex at an early age. Since 2001 the drop in teen pregnancy and activity has become stagnant and professionals fear that there will soon be an upswing again (Stein). Charmaine Yoest of the Family Research Council said, “’Teenagers today live in an MTV-driven culture and are bombarded by sexual messages that say it is normative for them to get involved sexually.’” He goes on to say that it important that we try and send the message that sex at such an early age is not normal, or even healthy. The images that are portrayed in shows like the O.C. are unrealistic and are skewing the nature of what real life and real relationships are all about. On the Media Awareness network they discussed this very issue (http://www.education-medias.ca/english/parents/television/issues_teens_tv.cfm) of unrealistic norms and standards. They reported that, “A survey conducted in 1997 by the Kaiser Family Foundation found that 61 percent of young teens, ages 13-15, rated entertainment media as their top source of information on sexuality and sex health” (Awareness). Parents, please go talk to your kids. Explain to them and not everyone is skinny and white and sexually active in high school. I think that a little less passivity and a little more involvement could go a long way. God forbid you sit down and watch TV with your kids and have conversations about the incongruencies that are being portrayed. It will amaze you how little it takes to have an affect on your own children. They need your guidance. Twenty-five percent of girls should not be sexually active by the age of fifteen (Sound Vision).

Lets take a step back from sex for a moment and focus on other issues that teens are dealing with now. Drug and alcohol abuse (http://www.teendrugabuse.us/teendrugstatistics.html). As of 2003 thirty point three percent of 8th graders admitted to illicit drug use. In 8th grade my idea of a good time was going to the movies on a Friday and maybe a little ice blocking on the local golf course (for those extra crazy nights). By 12th grade the number had risen to fifty-two point eight percent (Teen). Remember when I told you earlier that teen pregnancy costs the U.S. seven billion dollars a year? Well, underage drinking tops that by fifty-one billion more dollars. You could buy The World (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_World_(archipelago)) a little over four times with that amount of money. Alcohol isn’t the only problem, although a teenager is six and a half times more likely to die from the use of alcohol than all other illicit drugs combined. The use of prescription drugs has been increasing over the last few years, due in large part to teen’s perception that if you can buy it legally than it must be safer for you than marijuana or cocaine. Painkillers and other prescription drugs are not only just as dangerous for you they are also highly addictive. The problem is that they are so much easier to obtain. Go in to your parents medicine cabinets, or your little brothers supply of Ritalin and there you have an abundance of options for hazing the day away. If you really get desperate you can just run down to your local thrift store and purchase some cough syrup. The world is full of things to alter your mind and you are young and stupid enough to take them without a second though. The media isn’t helping. Shaan Singha sites in his article entitled “The Dangers of Drug Use in the Media” (http://media.www.brockpress.com/media/storage/paper384/news/2005/03/01/Humour/The-Danger.Of.Drug.Use.In.The.Media-881245.shtml) that,

"five of the 200 movies portrayed no substance use whatsoever (about two percent)" (NDCP, Movie Findings), "Positive statements about substance use (e.g., expressing longing, desire, or favorable attributes of use) occurred in 29 per cent of all movies. Most pro-use statements referred to alcohol" says NDCP. This large amount of substance use in movies today is a growing concern, as it desensitizes the viewers to drugs and alcohol, making them think it's not wrong to take such substances” (Singha).

My sixteen-year-old cousin quotes Beerfest and Harold and Kumar, both movies that glorify alcohol and marijuana, like it’s his job. Superbad (http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/superbad/) is out in theaters right now and even though I thought it was hilarious it definitely raised some issues. While talking about the “big graduation party” that is coming up later in the evening Seth, one of the movies stars, tells his friend, “you know when you here girls say, ‘ahh I was so gone last night I shouldn’t have slept with that guy.’ We could be that mistake!” Obviously this is a pretty funny conversation, however it is a scary reality for a lot of girls, and guys. Teenagers, especially when they are first experimenting with alcohol have no concept of their bodies limits and often times will go too far in an attempt to fit in at the party or prove themselves. They don’t realize the risks that they are taking by drinking so young in life. Teens who start drinking at the age of thirteen or younger have a forty percent chance of developing a dependency on alcohol, whereas teens that start after the age of seventeen only have a ten percent risk. This statistic from a “teen drug abuse” website coupled with the fact that in America, “The average age of first alcohol use is 12 and the average age of first drug use is 13” (Abusem (http://www.leaderu.com/orgs/probe/docs/teendrug.html)) is a very worrying reality.

You’re only young once. Don’t spoil it by getting pregnant or having to go to rehab at the age of eighteen. Remember the days when you could play with a bubble machine for an hour without getting bored? Remember when you got to “make a volcano” in science class and then you erupted it seven times and even that last time you were just as excited as the first? Remember when you decided to choose the cute girl for your soccer team during recess, but then relentlessly tried to explain to your friends that she’s actually pretty good? Hold on to those moments for as long as you can. Revel in the fact that the simple things still excite you. Be proud that you still where two different color socks. One of my favorite quotes is, “Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine” by Robert C. Gallagher. You’re going to grow up. It’s going to happen. But let it happen, don’t make it happen. Ignore the hype. Ignore the peer pressure. You’re only young once.


Family First Aid: Teen Pregnancy Stats, Facts and Prevention. http://www.familyfirstaid.org/teen-pregnancy.html (Aid).

Statistics on Teens: SoundVision.com: Islamic Information & Products. http://www.soundvision.com/Info/teens/stat.asp (Sound Vision).

Harford, Tim. “A Cock and Bull Story: Explaining the Huge Rise in Teen Oral Sex.” Slate. September 2, 2006. http://www.slate.com/id/2148583/ (Harford)

Stein, Rob. “Teen Sex Rates Stop Falling, Data Show.” The Washington Post. July 22, 2007. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/07/21/AR2007072101275.html (Stein)

Media Awareness Network. Special Issues for Teens. http://www.education-medias.ca/english/parents/television/issues_teens_tv.cfm (Awareness).

Teen Drug Abuse. Troubling Teen Drug Use Statistics. http://www.teendrugabuse.us/teendrugstatistics.html (Teen).

Singha, Shaan. “The Danger of Drug Use in the Media.” The Brock Press. March 1, 2005. http://media.www.brockpress.com/media/storage/paper384/news/2005/03/01/Humour/The-Danger.Of.Drug.Use.In.The.Media-881245.shtml (Singha).

Anderson, Kerby. “Teen Drug Abuse.” http://www.leaderu.com/orgs/probe/docs/teendrug.html (Abuse).